Blog 4: Shitty First Drafts

In Anne Lamott, “Shitty First Draft”, she has a comical way of describing her writing process. She explains all writers suffer through the agony of getting something down on paper.  There are few who are so inspired or motivated when they sit down to write. There isn’t a sign from heaven giving out perfect first drafts.  It is comforting to know even the best of writers will produce a shitty first draft.

Reading through Lamott process, I begin to laugh at myself. It was like she had a ring side seat on my process of writing a paper. She talked about the inner voice and how she had to come to a quiet place first. Before I begin to write, there is a quiet place I have to come to. After I enter into a place of serenity, here comes my pep talk (you can do this girl). I then begin to think about what I am going to write.

The first sentence is the hardest because I want to grab my audience’s attention in the first paragraph. So, I will write anything down regardless of how it sounds. Lamott states, the first thing she does is just write. She fills her pages with words; it’s like a child having a fit. Basically, whatever comes to mind put it down. It will be ridiculous reading, but why should she care; it is for her eyes only. After the first two or three paragraph, I will walk away from the paper until another thought come to me. Then I will sit down and continue to write again. This process happens until I am finish with the paper.  Lamott mentions she begins to streamline her article by making writing revision. I will revise my paper three of four times before I am comfortable with it. Upon my last revisions, I will give it to a friend to read, to catch any additional mistakes. 

            My writing is not the greatest in the world but it has improved over the years. I struggle with my thoughts on what to write and trying to remember all the rules of writing.  I have a problem of my hands typing faster than my thoughts. So, what I really meant to say does not come out on paper. There are many processes in writing a paper. I don’t believe there are hard set rules for it. It just depends which process is the best for you. But to be honest, is there such a thing as shitty third and fourth drafts?

Blog 3--- My Epiphany

As a child I hated reading and writing, mainly, because I was always stuck in one of those hooked on phonics classes. If you are old enough to remember, the big head phones and ancient machines feeding you words and definitions.  So, I grow up being intimidated by the one thing that is essential in life. Whether it is right or wrong, some people will judge your level of competency by how well you write. My awakening or epiphany on how important it is to read and write wasn’t until I was older.

The first novel I ever read from cover to cover was called the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. This reading was assigned as a class discussion in philosophy.  As a class, we never finished reading the book but for some reason I had to finish it.  It was a story about two Pakistani boys and their bouts with childhood and adulthood struggles.  It has always been interesting to read about other cultures. I could see myself traveling to those distant places.  Even today, I will read travel magazines and imagine how it would be to visit.  My reading materials can transition from fantasizing about Mexico coasts to the reality of filing out my tax forms.

As a matured woman, I find having information and understanding it is important. By reading I have learned how to do my own taxes, incorporate non-for-profit businesses and obtain their sales tax exemption status.  There is a sense of independence when you can create a business or do your own taxes without paying the middle man. I guess writing in a sense is creativity.  It takes imagination, inspiration, time and patience to put your thoughts and heart down on paper.

 I discovered my mother was an avid reader and she had books in the house. She loved arts and crafts, cooking and novels.  I can remember a few arts and crafts books around the house on needle pointing techniques (I did not inherit that gene).  She had cooking recipes in plastic boxes for homemade pies, cakes, sauces and etc. I remembered the faded hand written index cards and the occasional ones coming through the mail. I had started my own collections of cards for pecan pies, buffalo wings and sauces. Through reading I learn how to do a little cooking and eating as well. My mother had very little education because she had to work in the fields as a child. But there was creativity in her, a desire to learn by picking up a book.  Now it is funny, I can create a spreadsheet or a casserole.  Have I become my mother?

Blog 2-The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me by Sherman Alexie

In the essay by Sherman Alexie, The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me, Alexie at a young age begins to view the world of reading through a Superman comic strip. Even though he isn’t able to read yet, he associates Superman’s actions to the writing in the dialog box.  The actions he experiences and sees everyday help him to make these associations. This is the same concept he uses to recognize paragraphs. He associates the actions of his surroundings as content for a paragraph. In his household there are seven people, each person is a paragraph.  It is like teaching a child to identify a person, place or thing by a picture. The child cannot read a word, but he recognizes the pictures and can make up a story based on what he sees. Alexie discovered freedom through self-taught reading and determination.

Alexie envisioned himself as Superman, a hero coming against obstacles and bringing them down. He sees himself bursting through the door of expected illiteracy. Breaking down a door means taking down a barrier. But this door is not just knocked down by a single blow, it is shattered into pieces. Illiteracy is shattered into pieces.  Shattered things aren’t so easily put back together.

Alexie states, “Indian children were expected to be stupid” and a smart one is dangerous and feared by both Indians and non-Indians. It is one thing if failed expectations come from outside of your community but it has a stronger effect within its wall. As a child he fought with his classmates daily, because he refused to keep quiet when asked to participate. His desire to learn was too strong for him to be silent. When Superman broke down the door, he didn’t ask for permission.  Alexie had to become bold, ask questions and make a seen to conquer the silence. This silence was a closed mind and mouth.  Most of the Indian children in his community struggled in basic reading and confirmed it by their timidity in the classroom. It was again expected and accepted for them to fail.  Just as a good superhero, Alexie puts on his cape and says, “I refuse to fail. I was smart. I was arrogant. I was lucky”.

            He saw the stagnating conditions Indian children were suffering and he was determined not suffer the same fate. Braking down the door was a symbol of triumph; it is good verse evil.  So he read, whenever and whatever he could books, newspapers, and cereal boxes. Alexie was too persistent to give up and it did pay off.

            As a child, he remembers there were no guest speakers, teachers or visitors stopping by to visit classrooms.   Today as an accomplished writer he enlightens, inspires and causes arrogant wonder in Indian students.  There are those who sit in the back of the class with pens down, closed books and minds. He tries to knock down the door but can’t.  Alexie is like any good super hero, he just wants to save lives.

Blog assignment #1 Inner Critic/Course Goals: ENG100.11.FA.11.W9

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself” and I understand this emotion very well.  The thought of writing a paper or even a cover letter at times can become a paralyzing experience.  I have to overcome sweaty hands, the sound of my rapid heart beating, roaming thoughts, frequent bathroom trips and worse mind blocks.  It just seems like my body just wants to rebel against me.  

In high school and first time in college, my experience with writing was trying to avoid doing it or throwing something together just enough to get by. As I re-entered college again after many years, I found myself back in the saddle with reading and writing.  This second time around I had to take writing seriously because it became apparent writing was not going away. In English 101, I received an “F” as my final grade. I did the assignments, went to all my classes and did all the readings, but struggled with all of my papers.  At finals, I bombed the final paper and again, dread hit my stomach.  English finals were graded by other teachers in the department to determine if a student would pass on to English 102. This meant a student could have all “A’s” on his work assignments, but will receive a course grade of “F” if he fail the final.  It is hard for me to write under pressure.

Writing can be pressure, if we are afraid of someone mocking and critiquing our work. Writing is personal, basically, all our thoughts and emotions are written on paper. So, our inner critique (voice) becomes a shielding mechanism from embarrassments or old haunting memories which deters us from taking writing risks. Its protection is accompanied by fear that leads us into a temporary escape. This was my excuse for not writing.  My first greatest challenge as a writer is to quiet all inner critiques by reading and stating out loud my future goals. The second is to overcome panic attacks which is brought on by the mire thought of writing.  I usually create a peacefully atmosphere by listening to music or reading inspiring quotes. This is enough to get me through at least the first paragraph.

The peacefully atmosphere is still not enough for me to be a proficient writer.  I plan to attend graduate school next year and as Economics as a major, all I do is write.  Spelling was never a great asset of mine, so I am glad for the Webster Dictionary.  What I need help on is eliminating fragmented sentences, transitioning from one paragraph to the next and developing thesis statements.  I believe this English course and writing practices will help me to make fewer mistakes in these areas. When writing a paper, I normally will ask a friend to read it and give me feedback. This works for me because I trust her judgment and her writing abilities.

I guess even more important, I have to believe in me. I am not a failure at writing and even the best writers can sometimes struggle.